Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Hillary Clinton's Alcohol and Barbiturate Fueled Rampage

I think I know why the news in this country panders to the lowest common denominator. It’s quite simple; the lowest common denominator is eating it up. The lowest common denominator is patronizing the sponsors of the pandering stations. The lowest common denominator is the largest segment of our population.

Sensationalist humbug, as intriguing as it may be, chews up our news slots. Next time you watch the news, try this little experiment: Replace every instance of “Barack Obama” or “Hillary Clinton” with “Lindsay Lohan” or “Britney Spears” and vice versa. Notice anything weird? The weird thing is: It doesn’t sound weird at all. The same kind of coverage applies for both. Where were they last seen? What were they doing? Are they getting into trouble? If so, what is their response?

“Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton took a break from their campaign to vote on an Iraq appropriations bill in the Senate today, before resuming their campaign (cue video of the two hugging, exchanging pleasantries).”

Who cares (idiots, Dude)? I think the real news would go a little something like this: “The Senate voted on an Iraq appropriations bill today, a bill whose major provisions include [insert provisions]. The debate centered on whether or not the following provisions, [list certain provisions], had a place in a bill of this nature. Senator [name] felt [insert opinion] due to [reasons].”

Something like that.

Political news is going to jump the shark soon: When Barack Obama accidently flashes his snatch while climbing out of his limo at the premier for the new Tom Clancy movie.

Gross.

1 comment:

Rob Kolhouse said...

Awesome... you know my feelings on this. I'm going to get fat on pie thanks to the depressing nature of this country's political news coverage. I believe Roland Martin may be one of the only sane journalists on CNN thanks to the coverage this garbage is getting.

Obama's a non-pantie wearing terrorist.